Yes, Yes NO: Follow these 9 steps to reduce your overwhelmed feelings

Christian Erfurt | Unsplash | Overwhelmed

Stop living in the land of why. There are no happy answers to “why me?” “Why didn’t I?” “Why did I?” If you must ask any questions, ponder: “How can I grow?” “What’s in my control to change?” “What’s a gain in my pain?” — Karen Salmansohn

How often do you say no? Probably not often enough. We’re programmed to please others, so we’re accepted into their circles and approved by them. This desire to be accepted leads to periods of Overwhelm in each of our lives. For me, I feel overwhelmed at least once or twice a week because of agreeing to do things for others and me. Whoa, you mean I’m part of my overwhelm problem. Absolutely. I am the problem. So, fix me.

There are two categories of fixes. The first is how to respond to overwhelm by getting the feeling under control. The second is by learning to say no. Unfortunately, I’m getting better at first and remain terrible at the second.

Overwhelm

Overwhelm is the feeling that you’re out of control; you can never get everything done. Unfortunately, rather than being energized to kick into high gear and get more stuff done, Overwhelm slows you down. Our brains slow down, get tired and confused, and generally, we just enable the overwhelm to take control.

My personal response to this is threefold.

1. When overwhelm hits, I stop, sit back, and do a breathing meditation. This allows me to control my brain, analyze my feeling of overwhelm and look at it logically rather than reacting to the emotion.
2. I take a step back and review my work processes. Am I getting done the important things that need to be done each day? Usually, being overwhelmed comes from the stuff that really doesn’t need to be done yet. So there really is no reason to feel overwhelmed.
3. I ask myself whether or not I really need to do so many things. Do they help me achieve my purpose, and are they consistent with my values? If not, I don’t do them anymore. This is one of the hardest things to do.

Just Say No When You Can’t Do It.

I’m terrible at this. I can’t even think of when the last time was that I said no. Although, there may be hope yet. When I see an ad for a new course or a webinar that sounds interesting, I at least ask myself if this is consistent with my purpose and will help me along the path I want to follow. We all chose our journey through life and made our own way.

Here are five ideas to make your journey easier.

1. Take the time to know yourself. Only you can decide which way you want to go when you’re at a crossroads. We all have them. At the end of high school, do I want to go to college, start a job, or join one of the services? Do I want to take a year off from school?
2. Learn how to make good decisions. Learn to weigh the pros and cons. Give each choice thoughtful consideration.
3. Make sure it’s your decision, so you go down your path rather than someone else’s.
4. Our path isn’t straight from point a to point b. We’re in a time when people respond to the end of Covid by changing the direction of their lives. I’m in my third reincarnation: computer nerd, engineer and manager, and now writer.
5. Organize your life. You’re in charge: you need to track your expertise, experiences, where you lived, and what you have done. I believe a personal Knowledge Management system is something you must have.
6. Set Boundaries on your time and workload. You don’t have to say yes every time you asked to do extra work.

What is coming is better than what is gone. Let this belief aim you in the direction you need to go. — Karen Salmansohn