Self-Improvement comes from doing these five courageous practices every day
_"Recognizing that you aren't where you want to be is a starting point to begin changing your life." Five Deborah Day_
Are you happy the way you are? Do you want to be better? Most of us would answer the first no and the second yes. Being better than you are, starts with the belief that I can change myself. I can change how I react to poverty. In his book [Man's search for Meaning], Viktor Frankel talks about how we can learn to survive in harsh circumstances by changing how our mind reacts to adversity. Another book that talks about changing yourself is [The Gift], by Edith Eger. In her book, she discusses 12 lessons to save your life. Both of these books emphasize our ability to change ourselves. We can survive and make ourselves better.
Five daily practices to improve yourself.
People talk about self-improvement as if you can read a book and become your better self. But, unfortunately, it takes time and work on your part.
- Reflect.
Reflect on why you think you need to change? What do you need to change? Who do you want to become? Wow! It sounds tough when you ask these big questions. Let's try to get it into more bite-sized pieces. What didn't go right today and why? Whom did I lose my temper with today and react rather than taking the time to respond? What went well today? How did you feel?
Starting with today and learning as you go will move you toward the self you want to become. Set aside time either at the end of each day or at the beginning to reflect.
Take the time between a stimulus before you respond to think. You will be surprised how fast you can quit reacting emotionally and be thoughtful.
2. Change your mindset and perception.
Psychologists have found that we operate from either a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. With a fixed mindset, we see ourselves as victims of our genes. For example, I don't believe it is my fault because my IQ isn't high enough, so why try. The test was too hard, and please don't assume that it is my fault I got a poor grade.
With a growth mindset, we realize that bad things happen, which means I need to do something different. I need to study harder. Work out more. I'm not weak because I'm 76; I'm weak because I don't do anything about it.
To change yourself, you have to recognize that you can accept the challenge of studying more, working harder to change your situation, and becoming aware of your mind's role in how you feel about what is going on.
The one thing we know about our minds is that we can change them! We can decide how we want to feel. When we're hurt by whatever someone says about us or whether we will consider the comment and move on.
3. Take responsibility.
How many people do you know ignore what is going on around them, so they don't have to feel responsible? A lot, I'm sure. But the reality is that we need to accept responsibility for how we think, what we do, what we don't do, and whether we approach life from the point of view of I can try anything.
4. Be in and committed to the moment.
"Be in the moment" is a statement that we hear a lot in the self-improvement space today. But, unfortunately, this wasn't how I was brought up and certainly not how some of my grandchildren were brought up. Being in the moment means being fully committed to what you're doing at that moment. If you're in a room with someone, be in conversation with them, not glued to your phone. Being in the moment is about being fully aware of what is going on around you while being a participant. The moment will never come again, so take advantage of it.
5. Define your vision and purpose.
Define your vision of who you want to be and how you want to be perceived, and then work towards that outcome every day. During your reflection periods, think about what you need to improve to be true to your vision of yourself.
My vision is to live in a world where we can all dialogue about our problems, disagree without rancor, and live together as one human race.
Your purpose is more about how you're going to live your life. What will people remember about you? What will you be like every day? How will others see you?
My purpose is to help others fit technology into their lives to live without the friction of technology taking over their lives. So they can use the technology to contain and retrieve their knowledge effortlessly.
_"One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again." — Abraham Maslow_
