Comparison, Focus, and Purpose
Most people focus too much on what will happen next and not enough on what’s happening now. Marianne Williamson
Humans are complex beings. Because of how our minds can work, we can control our lives and how we view it. However, most of us live comparison lives, out of focus and lacking the guiding light of a personal purpose. We will explore each of these below and look at some ways to take back control of our lives.
Purpose
Knowing your purpose will guide your decisions throughout your life. So what is it? Purpose is defined broadly as the reason for something being done or created or for which something exists. Two parts of this definition are applicable here: “the reason for which something is done” and “ for which something exists.” To make decisions, we need to know what our purpose, the why we exist, is. Are we put on earth to be blown like a leaf in the wind by the chaos of our world, or do we have a purpose that guides our decisions. It is, of course, easier in many ways to be the leaf; go and do what the wind wants. But that is life without purpose.
To have a life of purpose, a lighthouse to guide you, you must know the what and why of your life. For example, I want to be a musician because music has healing powers and brings joy to the world. Another, I want to share the wisdom I have gained because it may save others the grief of the mistakes I made. So chose your purpose by reflecting and completing the sentence I want to be or do because. Of course, you can change your purpose as your life goals change, but always be clear in your mind what your purpose is at any given time.
Your mind knows your purpose once it has been set and will help you recognize when you stray. For example, if your purpose is to always be a good friend to others and you forgot and put someone down with a negative comment, your brain creates negative feelings. However, you know you must put it right. So your mind helps you stay on purpose, and you keep this clarity when you reflect on your activities.
Focus
Focus is one of the current in-words in the self-help and productivity communities. Simply put, it means to be in the moment, don’t let your mind worry about yesterday or tomorrow. Now is all we are guaranteed to have. Learning to focus comes from mindfulness. It is the capability that you want to develop to be fully present in the moment. How often do you listen to a lecture or speech and midway through your mind wanders to what you will do that night?
Focus is like a muscle that has to be trained to be strong. WE can do this through meditation practices. When you reflect on your day, think about the times you thought when someone was speaking this is stupid, and your mind wandered. Reflect on the times you were discussing something with a friend, and when they were talking, rather than being fully present and listening, you were thinking of what you were going to say next. What did you miss by lack of focus?
Comparison
One of the things we do naturally is to create imaginary hierarchies. He is the mayor, so he is better than me. He is a math whiz, and so he is better thane. He wrote a book. Well, give it up. If you try to live a life of comparison, you will never stay focused or live up to your purpose. Like the bumper sticker I saw yesterday said, “Begin With=.”
We are all humans with our own strengths and weaknesses. The goal is not to be better than someone else. It is to be the best you possible. To do that, you need to realize that someone is always better than you in some aspect of your two lives. But the reality is no one cares. Politicians think they are special. In many ways, I think they are egocentric and stupid for doing it. Few do it for the right purpose. So I work hard at not comparing.
I work at being a little bit better every day: learn a little more, get out of my comfort zone a little more often, and keep working on my mind so I can focus on my purpose in all I do.
